You'll notice with time and the turning over of generations that real chivalry is fading away. Notice also how being a man is now associated with being hairy, brave, ruthless, unemotional, careless and even being abnormally muscular.
Truth is, being a man is more than just external looks and temporary behaviour. Here are 5 actionable habits you can implement in your life to be a better man (this will also help women)
1. Stop hoping for a completion of anything in life
A lot of times in life we are stuck in a boring routine which interferes with what we really want to do. Instead of making educated decisions that can be implemented straight away, we tell ourselves, "when I get promoted, I will have more time to..." only to find out that when that long awaited promotion actually comes, we now have less time than we did before.
A real man would know that maybe that promotion will come too late, or maybe my situation would be worse after it, and then use this knowledge to make a better decision.
2. Don't get lost in tasks and duties
For me this was the biggest downfall. I would wake up in the morning and have a task list: reply to emails, post packages, come back home and sort all of my files into alphabetical order. It is important to realise the difference between minor tasks and duties and the things you can do to take you closer to your purpose in life. Yes, a lot of people will say that these are still quite important, and I agree! But ask yourself, if you were dying, would you really tell yourself "Oh, I have been a good boy and cleaned my room and organised my stuff" or is it going to be "I pursued my purpose"
A real gentleman would know how to prioritise so that he doesn't get lost in minor tasks. He understands that some small tasks can't be avoided, however he minimises the time spent on small tasks and maximises time spent on his life purpose.
3. Be willing to change everything in your life
There is nothing more masculine than a man who can adapt to any situation in life. When we were young, we were scared of change and feared what would happen if we went to a new class or changed schools. Having said that, being scared of change and fearing the unknown is actually human nature, but a gentleman knows how to adapt and accept change even if he is scared inside. He shows fearlessness with the uncomfortable situations and life. Lets say someone bumps into the back of your car while you're waiting at a red traffic light. Would you jump out of your car shouting swear words and portray your anger? Or would you calmly accept what has happened and exchange the relevant contact details?
What would you do if you lost your job, or lost a loved one? A real gentleman knows everything must come to an end and nothing is permanent. So he is open to change and accepts change willingly.
4. Live as though your parents are dead
I know this sounds very sad and disrespectful, but it has nothing to do with respect. It has more to do with how you make your decisions. When we were younger we were told what is best for us. "Son, finish your education and be a doctor because your cousin is an engineer." As a man, only you know what is best for you. Now this doesn't mean don't listen to your parents and elders, because a man also knows how to respect the advice and opinion of others. But remember, what ever choices you pick in your life, only you will have to face the consequences.
5. Know your purpose in life
What will be said about you when you die? Did you have a real purpose in life? Did you add value to humanity?
If you had all the money in the world and unlimited holidays, what would you be doing?
Summary of a book The way of the superior man by David Deida (article structure by FightMediocrity)